Whether it is at work or in my personal life, I’ve always received comments on how well I’m able to kept calm under pressure and how well I manage difficult people and situations. As I’ve got older I’ve become less tolerant and am finding it harder to keep calm with difficult people and situations.
Those people and situations that frustrate me can have a huge impact on my day too.
I often wake up with every intention of doing something productive with my time once I’ve finished work, whether that is writing for this blog, learning something new, reading or taking time out for myself, then out of the blue something happens and that’s it those good intentions are out of the window and I’m in a bad mood.
My previous coping mechanisms have always served me well, so I have to ask myself the question whether it is purely a decrease in tolerance as I get older or is there something happening that I’m just not recognising or wanting to admit to myself.
Is age the only factor in my lack of tolerance?
I’ll admit that I’m probably using my age as an excuse, though I probably will be a grumpy old man.
While it’s true that with age I care a lot less what others might think of me and consequently voicing my opinions a lot more frequently. I think my lack of tolerance has come from a dissatisfaction of my situation.
I’m not happy with my role at work, I’m frustrated by the fact that I feel that I’m not being paid what I think that I’m worth and I’m angry that I’ve constantly tried to better myself without seeing the fruits of my labour.
I’ve no doubt that I’m not alone in these thoughts and there are many people out there that probably share the same frustrations.
These frustrations only serve to have a negative impact not only my physical well-being but how I perceive myself too, resulting in me getting angrier a lot quicker than I ever have before and feel that those self inflicted pressures will not go away
So how can you manage the anger, frustration and stresses that your day might bring?
1. Concentrate on your breathing
Taking deep breaths is not only a great way to relax but allows you to clear your mind and come back to a situation fresh
2. Remove yourself from the situation
Walking away from whatever it is that is frustrating or angering you is a great way for you to collate your thoughts.
I think that it’s always important to take a step back and actually evaluate whether a situation is that important to you..
3. Ask myself why am I letting it get the better of me
Have you ever been frustrated or angry when someone has cut you up or tried to rush past you when driving. I certainly have and I’ll probably swear under my breath and let it go. Dwelling on what has already happened isn’t going to change it so move on and get on with the rest of your day.
You might also want to take time to question “why am I so angry”
Maybe easier said than done but smiling will trick your brain into thinking that you are happy.
So if something or someone is annoying just smile and see if it makes you feel any better.
You can stomp and shout when you get home, but don’t take it out on your loved ones!
5. Talk to someone
Whoever you speak to about what it is you are feeling might not be able to change anything but just getting if off your chest can help.
There’s been many times that I’ve come in from work, had a quick chat with my wife and forgotten about whatever it was that was such a big deal only five minutes earlier.
6. Do something that takes your mind off it
You can’t change something that has already happened, Do something that you enjoy, for me it’s watching a film, listening to relaxing sounds or thinking up ideas for this blog.
7. Put it in perspective
Maybe not now so much but I used to internalise my anger when someone hadn’t done something that I felt that they shouldn’t have, whether that be doing the dishes in a certain way, not doing something the way that I felt it should be done or some other nonsense.
None of these things had a huge impact on my life at the time and I’d probably forgotten about it a few minutes later any way.
These are only a few of the techniques I use to try and overcome some of my anger, frustrations and stress, you might have others and if you do I’d be interested in hearing them.