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We’ll talk to strangers about the weather and friends about sex, but when it comes to talking about money though it can sometimes feel like we’re the only one in the room, a lonely place with no one to talk to, not even those closest to us.
I consider myself fortunate to have never been in debt, apart from a business loan taken several years ago, but I know and have known people that are, and for them, debt has been a lonely place where for one reason or another they have decided to keep their situation secret from family and friends.
If only they’d opened up sooner about their financial problems then maybe they would have found the help needed to improve their situation before matters snowballed out of control.
It’s not just people in debt that don’t talk about money either.
I’ve always wanted the freedoms that come with having money, though never really knew how to make my money work for me. I was always told, to keep my head down, and work hard and it will pay off, unfortunately, life can sometimes be unfair and it doesn’t always work out that way.
It was only I started to take inspiration from bloggers that were already doing it did my mindset change. It’s true that you aren’t talking to bloggers in the literal sense, but in this interactive age, blogs are a fantastic medium where you can learn, leave questions or comments, get advice, and join groups from people across the globe.
With recent events, it is clear that being open about money can make us aware of financial inequality in the workplace too.
So why don’t we talk about money?
I’ve narrowed it down to three core reasons.
Shame
We might sometimes feel that our financial situation is our fault.
Maybe you’re in debt or just feel that the choices you’ve made have brought you to the situation you find yourself in.
Society tells us it’s not polite
We live in a society where the rich love to flaunt their wealth, big yachts, diamonds and expensive cars, but growing up our parents might have told us that money was a personal subject and shouldn’t be discussed in public, that is if they even spoke about money to us at all.
Fear of being judged
Like it or not we live in a judgmental society and for some, what others might think of them if they ever found out that they were in debt is even worse than the actual debt itself for others, their self-worth might be based on how much they bring home every month and the idea that others earning more than them will look down on them is a very real fear.
So what are the benefits of being open about money:
1. Opening up is the first step in getting help
It sounds clichéd, but the first step in getting help with your finances is admitting that you need it, whether you’re in debt or seeking inspiration from those that just seem to have money flow to them, if you don’t ask you don’t get.
2. Opening up assists others in making informed decisions
There are still people out there that will stick with their utility companies out of loyalty, fear of change, distrust or their inability to use the necessary resources to be able to make beneficial financial decisions, by opening up to them about money you might actually be able to help them.
3. Opening up allows you to make better-informed decisions
Regardless of what you believe, there is always more to be learnt about money, whether that’s making more, saving, investing or retirement.
4. Opening up can be a source of inspiration to others
Before I first created this blog, I visited a number of other financial blogs where bloggers would report on their monthly income, I couldn’t understand why then it dawned on me.
Though some might consider it bragging, for me they served as an inspiration that it was a possibility to make money online.
5. Opening up can be the foundation of a better financial education
I’m not a parent but growing up my Mum and my Nan rarely ever spoke to me about money.
If I wanted something I’d get it, I didn’t consider the price or how hard my mum would have to work to put it under the tree at Christmas, I just expected it. You might say that I was spoilt.
I’d like to think that I wouldn’t have asked for half as much as I did if I knew the value of money back then.
It was only when I got older and saw how hard my Mum and Nan had to work to get what little they had done did it make me think about personal finance and so some extent goes some way to explain why I’m so cautious with my money today.
So what do you think?
Is money one of those subjects that just isn’t anyone elses’ business or should be opening up more, I’d be interested to hear your thoughts in the comments below.
Fay says
My parents never spoke about money however they did bring us up “if you want something you have to save up for it” and not to use a credit card. I always pay my credit card bills in full every month.
I agree there is so much advice hints & tips out there. I feel this blog is only aimed at people who are like minded. The ones who need the help do they even know these blogs exist………..
Yes you guys feature in national publications but they don’t always state all the help a person can get. All it does is give tips which I already know so wouldn’t really bother looking further…………..
David says
Hi Fay
I imagine that advice that your parents gave you is even more than some give, even today.
My fellow personal finance bloggers and I work hard to put something out and promote it the best we can so that those that need the help might know we exist. Search engine optimization and social media play a vital role in being a blogger and getting our message out there.
With regards to national publications, I’ve never featured in any, but can only assume that the publication has an idea for an article in mind and will base whatever it is that my fellow PF Bloggers might say around this idea. When it is in the editor’s hands, there’s not much more that can be done.
It’s a shame that you wouldn’t bother looking any further after reading a publication as there is so much more to those bloggers that feature than that one article.
Faith @MuchMoreWithLess says
Definitely agree it helps to open up about money. Money is so powerful at both helping people lead happier lives, but also destroying people with debt. It’s a massive part of why I write about money, to help people make the most of it. Thanks so much for joining in with #MondayMoney!
David says
Thank you Faith
I think that #MondayMoney is a great platform to get more people interested and talking about their finances, so long may it continue!
Tuppenny says
I second the problem of the British stiff upper lip!
Also we have the problem of keeping up with the Joneses. It can be difficult to talk about money struggles when so many people seem to be doing fine and splashing out. Problem is the Joneses are likely to be in debt as well, possibly more so but aren’t talking about it.
David says
Great point about the Joneses.
It can be so easy to get swept up with the he/she has something or other so I’ve got to go one better.
Ken@thehumblepenny says
Great post!! I am a strong believer in the need to have dialogue on the subject of money. It’s the only way one can ask for help if they really need it. However, it has to be done in an environment of trust.
Culture is also another massive factor here. As Brits, we certainly need to open up more!
David says
Thanks Ken
I couldn’t agree more. Unfortunately it’s a culture I don’t believe will change anytime soon.
Charlotte says
I have no filter when it comes to talking about money LOL I will happily ask someone how much they earn and how much their house cost but I listen to a lot of American finance people so I’m a bit brainwashed by them. One thing I have learnt from being happy to talk about it openly though is how much some of my friends and family struggle with money and budgeting each month, I’ve been able to help a few of them out (mainly family) but a lot of my friends feel like debt is a way of life now 🙁
David says
Who need a filter when you’ve been able to help family.
Maybe it’s time to introduce your friends to our American PF cousins. There’s a lot they can teach us.
Ruth Makes Money says
Such an interesting post! I totally agree that talking about money is almost the last taboo, but that there are so many benefits of having more open and honest conversations about it.
David says
Thank you Ruth
I guess sometimes the benefits of being open can sometimes be blurred by the situation itself
Emma Drew says
I definitely agree that society tells us that talking about money is inpolite, which is such a shame. If we talked about money more openly then people wouldn’t feel shame about it!
David says
So true.
Why are we so obsessed about politeness when something can affect us so dramatically?
nessjibberjabberuk says
I think most people are too British to talk about money! I know many Americans who are very happy to say how much they earn but I don’t think it’s in our culture to do so.
David says
I’d agree. Sometimes a stiff upper lip can do more harm than good